Thats a tough one Lea. I have the same situation, my W's and I birthdays are three days apart next week. The good things is mines is first, so if she don't give me one, then I will not give her one.
I guess you could do a 180, do whatever he doesn't expect.
Was lying in the bath earlier thinking about D Day which is coming very near and I am just not ready for it yet. I feel sick just thinking about it. Not because I want my H back (I think so) but because I just dont want to be D. I see it as a failure, that I have failed at my M. I havent even told alot of people that we are seperated (since last july) and am not sure how I will say that we are now D. I hate the stigma of being a divorced, single mom. I know that it is okay and I dont judge people for it - I have a lot of single divorced mom friends and they are great - I just dont want to be one.
Sorry if this offends anyone - it isnt meant to. I guess I just still havent come to terms with the fact that my M is over.
Me 37 years young!! S11 S7 T22 M14 D final 13.05.2010 Today is the first day of the rest of my life!!! First post: D Day has arrived
Ahh!! That means you are an Aries too. Guess what so am I. My birthday is on easter sunday which means that it is after my H. He did buy gifts for the boys to give me for mothers day.
I have been buying him birthday presents for the last 21 years so it will be really odd to not. I was thinking of getting something irrelavant from me, with no emotion attached to it. On the other hand if I dont get him anything I know that this will get his attention. What is he expecting me to do?? I dont know. For xmas he didnt want anything. Then said that we should just get something small for each other so that the boys wouldnt quetion the santa issue. We set a limt which I exceeded and he didnt. In fact my gift was really thoughtful and his could have been for a neighbour. I was thinking that if I didnt get him anything he might miss it. I have to be honest dont really feel like it.
Me 37 years young!! S11 S7 T22 M14 D final 13.05.2010 Today is the first day of the rest of my life!!! First post: D Day has arrived
My birthday is the 26th. If she gets me something I will be shocked. I keep trying to stay detached, but I miss her alot. WE have shared 32 birthdays, I don't know how I will feel if she doesn't do anything, but I will not freak out.
These months apart have been really tough, not just because she is gone, but how she left and the way she has treated our family has been appaling. On top of that, my career has taken a nose dive, so there has been a lot of stress.
My W truly seems to be in a MLC cause she is making no effort to reconcile with her kids or grandkids.
I understand how you feel about not wanting a D, I feel the same way. I have now idea what my W is doing, we have not mentioned D since december.It as if we were never married!!
Hi G, I really feel for you. I am so sorry that you are in this situation. Our stitchs are so similar it is unreal.
You and your W are both Aries and have bdays very close. My h and I are both Aries and have bdays 10 days apart. We have been together since teenages and I would agree that my H is in a MLC as well.
I am sure that it will be horrible if your W doesnt get you a gift, however at the moment I am not sure if the gift would be heartful or rather a chore. My H and I have always made a huge effort when it comes to birthdays and gifts and we spend ages planning them, so not sure what this year will bring.
You advised me re mothers day that there will be other mothers day so perhaps if she doesnt get you a gift this year it wont be that bad as there will be other birthdays.
Me 37 years young!! S11 S7 T22 M14 D final 13.05.2010 Today is the first day of the rest of my life!!! First post: D Day has arrived
Hi Flo, I think you are right it is the withdrawal stage. I will look into the book you have suggested. I am firstly reading the new Atkins diet, want to loose a few more pounds before I go on holiday.
Thanks for the input.
((( )))
Me 37 years young!! S11 S7 T22 M14 D final 13.05.2010 Today is the first day of the rest of my life!!! First post: D Day has arrived
Was lying in the bath earlier thinking about D Day which is coming very near and I am just not ready for it yet. I feel sick just thinking about it. Not because I want my H back (I think so) but because I just dont want to be D. I see it as a failure, that I have failed at my M. I havent even told alot of people that we are seperated (since last july) and am not sure how I will say that we are now D. I hate the stigma of being a divorced, single mom. I know that it is okay and I dont judge people for it - I have a lot of single divorced mom friends and they are great - I just dont want to be one.
Sorry if this offends anyone - it isnt meant to. I guess I just still havent come to terms with the fact that my M is over.
(((Lea))) I hear ya. We chose to get married and become part of the "married women" category. We haven't chosen to be in the "single divorced mom" category, and realistically that will influence how people see us.
Please read this book that Gardener and hoosiermama recommended to me:
It's not a book you read all at once. Just read it in little bits and give yourself time to digest.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
