To be fair, when we separated we agreed and told our kids that we would try to be friends and continue to do some things as a family. This is not her "cake eating", this was something we agreed to do. Now, the cottage thing is a bit overboard as far as I'm concerned. She sees it as a way to have a "family vacation" without really recognizing how difficult that would be for me and I've told her that I'm not comfortable with the idea as it would be very difficult emotionally. Yes, in many ways, she's had it damn good. When we separated she didn't have to move out of the home, she didn't lose our family friends, she got rid of a husband she didn't want, she has another relationship to get her through...so life is pretty rosey for her. I've had a lot more adjusting to do and I feel I've handled it all pretty well. When we are together as a family I normally have a pretty good time and don't go home crying over what was and will never be. I have my times though, like anyone who has suffered a great loss. My life is busy and I have to learn to slow down in order to recover my energy levels. That's me not my ex. Being alone is sometimes darn hard, for 17 years I had someone to come home to each night and now there's no one. Maybe you never adjust, I don't know, but I'm doing my best. I've just started reading a book called "Choosing gratitude: Your Journey to Joy", should be an interesting read. I also think my energy would pick up if I didn't have to deal with some kind of friggin heavy life issue every few weeks. Next week my tests come back and hopefully I will hear absolutely nothing from the doctor! That would bring me joy smile


Divorced February 27, 2012.

"Only by love is love awakened".~ Ellen G White