I agree with OT (or at least here is my interpretation of it)....I think your wife/STBX (or whatever she may be) is a great big cake eater. She has the benefit of being able to pick and choose which parts of her life to involve you in when it feels good for her. You probably need to stop feeding her all the good cake!
"You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf." Jon Kabat-Zinn
