Need a Plan for My Marriage

[robx]

Hi robx,

No I am not a prisoner in my own home. She is gone from 8 to 8:30 pm Monday throught Friday, and on the weekends she wants to take the only car have go with the kids at least one day. The other day I have to go shopping for groceries, etc. so we can eat. I know you don't understand my situation, and I don't expect you to. I am not here to justify my decisions to anyone. I am just trying to ask for advice on my marriage, not on whether I should have a job. I know I need one more than anyone here will ever imagine. I go bed at around 2 and wake up at 5:45 am everyday. I look for jobs, take care of the kids, and come here for some relief from the situation to only find that I am being criticized. I have told her that I need to do some tings for myself but she says her job comes first. I can see from th responses here that I should not stop her from doing her job since she is the bread winner. I try to respect that. I really don't know what more to say on this subject. It is so frustrating to me. I do take the car during the day to interview, but she makes such a fight that I just do it as little as possible except for interviews or take care of our bills, so our credit stays good. I would interview and do more, but we don't have the money for daycare. My kids have to eat too. Our rent is half of her income, and that does not leave much left over. I have friend that lets me pay him later when I have the money for daycare, so I can go to job interviews. There is so much more I could say, but I don't want to come off as ungrateful for everyone's genuine concern for my situation.

I do really underand what everyone is saying, and I do appreciate all the comments.

Thank you!

I didn't mention anything about your job in my last post, I asked if you were a prisoner in your own home and you do sound like one. You're trapped and you can't go anywhere, your wife won't let you. Plus you mean to tell me she works 10-2 hours everyday monday thru friday and only sees the kids one day on the weekend? Are you serious? What does she do 10-2 hours per day that she makes very little money that the rent is half of her income? If she is going to work and then spending time with the OM, put a stop to that in a hurry.

[robx]

She told me yesterday that she had a working dinner and would be late. I will probably be around 11 pm. I just said okay because I don't want to be around her these days anyhow. I can have some time to take care of myself without her and while the kids are asleep. Oh, the piece and quiet is bliss.

That's what she told, if I was a betting man I'd put my money on her going out on a date with the OM. A "working dinner" till 11pm.... ummmm... yeah... that's plausible. I'd believe it ;-)

[Greek]

LoveSick ~
Dinner until 11pm? Really? She can get that by on you? You know better, right?
Greek

[Steve McQueen]

You say I need a job and your right, but tell me some more ideas to do more than I am doing.

Thanks

This is a life changing series of events you are experiencing.

REDFINE YOURSELF!

[LSG]

Hi robx,

Sorry for the mistake! When this first found out about this affair, I talked to the guy and told him to say away from wife in no uncertain terms. He obviously doesn't care, nor does she. I was picking her up at work, and she pulling this controlling her garbage. She said she almost lost her job which I don't believe for a second. I done so much for so long to have her come home earlier that I just got sick of bothering. She says she works that much but I know she does not. It is a problem that I have addressed so much, but it just does nothing to stop her. I have tried to where I am this point of detaching from the whole situation before it drives me crazy. I cannot let it continueI know but it is just becoming more a situation that I cannot care about as much. I need to do for myself and find a job. I know you did not mention it. I am just saying.

I will be doing everything I can to stop it in the next couple of weeks. I have already done somethings that I hope will help soon.

Thanks for listening.

[Greek]

When this first found out about this affair, I talked to the guy and told him to say away from wife in no uncertain terms. He obviously doesn't care, nor does she.

They do not care about what you say. Action is required here.

I done so much for so long to have her come home earlier that I just got sick of bothering. She says she works that much but I know she does not. It is a problem that I have addressed so much, but it just does nothing to stop her.

B/c that was just words.

Greek

[LSG]

Hi Greek,

Give me some action to take.

Thanks

[Greek]

"W, I will not live in an open M. I know that you are having A with co-worker and I will not stand by any longer. My goal is to restore and improve our M. In order to do that, there can be no contact with OM - verified by open cell phone and email content. If you are not willing to work on our M, I will inform his W and your employer, and begin interviewing lawyers in the morning. What do you want to do?"

Then listen.

Then act.

Greek

[LSG]

Hi Greek,

That is good plan. I will do that. I am not sure the exact day. But it will be next week for sure.

Thanks.

[LSG]

I am still hoping to receive the information on the OMW's contact info. tomorrow. I am not sure how to open the conversation. Since we only have one car, I will be calling her. What is a good way to approach her? I would appeciate any input from others that have done this. What was it like for you to this? I imagine it is awful to tell someone their spouse is cheating. I am a little stressed about this phone call.

Thanks.