Agree wholeheartedly with making sure there is a right of first refusal clause.
Especially if, as I expect, your wife begins to want to slip away from the kids to pursue her interests, I would expect she will do it quietly by trying to ship them off to family and friends. You don't want that happening, especially if they could be with you instead.
I also like the idea of the opportunity to revisit custody amounts should your career schedule change. Always nice to have the option - perhaps you can always do this, I'm not sure.
Will splitting time in the summer be a problem for you? I can't see why you would only get three weeks with them. Seems to me that you deserve equal time and are only NOT getting it during the school year to keep the kids from being in too much upheaval.
I ache for your situation Frank. You know how lucky I was - I wish you could have some of that luck.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
I don't know how I'll handle this. W has used me a couple of times for free baby sitting so she could spend all night partying with her best friend in a small town 30 minutes from here.
After I figured that out, a couple of times she "offered" me extra nights with them I turned it down because I thought she was just looking to go drinking with her townie buddies.
One time I was right and she just left them with her mom all night. Another time she just stayed home with them.
I was torn both times. I obviously am not to the point where I don't care what she's doing. Maybe that'll have come by the time we get to that part of the negotiations.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
Kerry...to answer your question, His attorney says we will have a battle because the courts favor moms even crappy ones over dads
it doesn't seem to matter that we can document all this stuff
Frank...keep in mind that you will still be working over the summer and will need to find a sitter...your wife could push for right of 1st refusal or say you shouldn't get that time because you would be at work where she will most likely not be working...
Figgeroni...my L concurs with your view and she is urging me to not fight the 3 weeks.
In court again as I type. Her L changed a HUGE amount of stuff that was not in the 'agreed upon' stip as we left it last week.
To CityGirl: NY sucks with regards to divorce law. Prehistoric and barbaric is an understatement. I've had at least 15-20 court appearrances, 2 judges not including the two for the orders of protection and 2 1/4 years later. I intend to write my Congressman after this..
Ugh. FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Are those wooden benches any more comfortable after the last visit? I will toss my seat cushion in solidarity.
Hope it goes well, though it looks like your divorcing spouse is grasping for the last straws before it's done/finito.
What's amazing is that your ordeal is probably not unique and the the laws are still in place. And it has me wondering.. if you both have to say you begged and were denied sex for 12 months to get divorced, do you have to say you pushed away all sexual advances for 12 months to get married?
*hugs*
PS.. I was kidding about the mole, knowing how folks will ask for advice during your downtime. In fact I had a 7mm inflamed cyst delivered whole quite to the surprise of the dermatologist lancing it. He gets bragging rights for the day.
As an aside, the former spouse once let a cyst go so long the surgeon had to treat it like a mastectomy. He told the spouse, "I always tell my patients their cyst was the biggest one ever. Guess what.. yours IS the biggest one ever. It's like the size of Texas!"
Well...I got a hello while sitting here. The father of a boy on our baseball team last year..was filed against. Married 17 years, his W is adopted. She found her biological family in upstate NY and filed for D. Poor guy. He told me about his W lying in affidavits and how he was now afraid that she would try and call the police.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
I tell you.. Each lawyer I spoke to asked me, "Did your spouse ever threaten you, do you feel at risk?" It was almost a golden ring dangled where I knew I could get an unfair advantage making a complaint.
The funny thing is, several years before I had felt very threatened by him. Looking in his eyes and knowing that there was a distinct possibility that he might hit me. I remember saying, "If you ever hit me, I'm out the door." And it was very weird to feel that sensation, even though it was never acted on, except in his sleep when he'd whack me if I cuddled close. I mean, with oomph. Needless to say, I stayed on my side of the bed, alone.
Your friend should probably find out from his lawyer how to protect himself.
Looking back at it now, I made so many excuses, or accepted his (I'm sensitive to touch, I don't like to be touched.) Sheesh.
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
If Obama is ever impeached or dies from cigarretes, it is not very reassuring to know that Joe Biden, the crafter of the unconstitutional VAWA, will be in charge. Too many lawyers have dishonestly used that to gain an advantage in divorce proceedings against men.
