SR, I think that you and your STBX need to discuss coparenting. Your D is getting the idea that it's up to HER where she spends the night. I think that overnights should definitely take into account the child's wishes, feelings, and needs, but you and her mother should sound totally confident and in charge when it comes to overnights, not wishywashy. You should discuss plans without your D hearing the back and forth (pref by email). Your D needs to know that both of you are still her PARENTS and she doesn't have to have the responsibility of deciding what's best for herself. My heart breaks every time my children stay overnight with my H, but I let them know 2 nights before and the night before and give them enough warning about what the plan is so that they are not blindsided. They need the control of knowing what to expect, not being in charge of what will happen.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
