How to Survive Infidelity After having counseled thousands of couples with hundreds of marital conflicts, I am completely convinced that a spouse's unfaithfulness is the most painful experience that can be inflicted in marriage.
My emphasis.. the referene above is to the "hundreds of marital conflicts" he has observed, and yes he is putting infidelity at the top of those.
is infidelity not the worst thing your spouse has done to you? In my case it certainly was
Quote:
Those I've counseled who have had the tragic misfortune of having experienced rape, physical abuse, sexual abuse of their children, and infidelity have consistently reported to me that their spouse's unfaithfulness was their very worst experience. To be convinced of the devastating impact of infidelity, you only need to go through it once.
These are client reports that posters here are attributing to Harley himself.
Originally Posted By: saffie
OK, this was the quote. Now where is he placing infidelity and what weight is he putting on it in regard to the other deeds?
He isn't, he's reporting that his clients have reported this to him. You are putting words in HIS mouth that he isn't saying on his own behalf. And to my knoweledge he hasn't experienced infidelity himself, he may have but I am not aware of that, so to my knoweldge he couldn't make a fair comparison.. he relies on reports from clients.
But more to the point the BIG PICTURE here is that he's driivng infidelity OUT of the ROMANCE novel and into the CRIMINAL context.. THAT is the focus here... Again that is the subtext and my interpretation, so feel free to quibble about this further if you like.
That is the subtext, in my reading anyways, of what he wants to CONVEY in this block of text. Quibbling about if He himself puts infidelity as worse than rape on his personal scale of offenses is missing the point of the exercise.
"Infidelity is a horrible act, its not romantic or beaitiful" is what i am getting from reading this.. you can nitpick all you want, but his message to my mind is crytal clear.. and a message tht MANY PEOPLE aren't aware of, or infidelity would not be as widespread as it is.
