feel like giving up - pt 2

[luvless]

I know sometimes I may sound like a victim and I catch myself doing that but I am not nor do I want to be perceived that way. Yes, when I contemplate filing I do think "I don't want to be married to a cheater" so I am not being a victim here.

Most of my fears of H leaving are financial. I've been without an outside job for 20 yrs and I don't want to lose my home.

I do admit I have had a defeated attitude. You are right and it has bothered me immensely. I want to know I did all I could and came out on top a better person. I am working on that...and a more positive demeanor no matter what happens.

I only want this marriage if H wants it. I don't want to be the one to do all the work. I don't mind changing for a better me but I want to see some effort from him...even a little. I don't see any.

Thank you Talia for calling on me on my sh*t. I'm tired of feeling defeated so maybe it's time I stop huh?