Are you getting good marital advice?

[saffie]

The main point Harley was making was not to dismiss the pain of rape or other violent crime... his intention in the context of the lecture was to put infidelity into the right perspective... to put it in a group with violent crimes emphasizes his point - its not beautiful, or romantic, or fun... infidelity inflicts a great deal of PAIN on people.

THAT was where he goes with that introductory remark later on in the lecture.

His point is to characterize it as emotional violence... similar to belittling someone in public or bullying someone into feeling so worthless they consider suicide as an escape.

I get this Allen. I think most of us do. I am just surprised at where in the list of attrocities he placed infidelity.

As someone who did try to commit suicide due to my H's infidelity, I still think I would rank someone sexually abusing my child as more stressful. It would have a different reaction in me as I would want to be there for my child....not end my life......but I think the pain may be even greater.I think I would still feel worthless as I wouldn't have protected my child. I just think the way it is put is slightly dramatic - especially considering those who have been through infidelity know how much it hurts when you still care for your S.

My sister however showed complete indifference when her H cheated - so I guess we all react differently.

I am interested though to know if Harley's comments come from women only OR a mixture of men and women.