I can't believe what just happened. I thought things were getting a little better, but today I discovered that my wife and the OM had a phone conversation again and he emailed her three times today telling her how much he misses her and that he wishes they could spend time together.
She says he is just a friend and refuses to share her email messages with me and refuses to stop communicating with him. I am very frustrated.
Should I send the OM an email asking him to stop it? I'm pretty sure he would ignore me. He would just tell my wife what I did.
Sure, go ahead. Right after you send an e-mail to the neighborhood burglar, asking him to "please stop breaking into my house," and to your congressman, asking her to "please stop lying."
Your wife is lying to you -- that's a given. The question is, is that a boundary with you or not? Are YOU willing to live in a marriage where your wife communicates in appropriately with another man, hides it from you and lies to you about it, or not?
Ken, this isn't about your WIFE. It's about YOU. Boundaries are all about YOU.
