"Gosh, FG. I thought most marriage experts advised about talking about what happened. That it's normal for the BS to want to talk about the whys, whens and whats about everything and that the cheating spouse should reveal all info for healing."
Sure.. but it needs to be a mutual step forward. From what I am reading I don't personally think that is the case here. He is balking, he is indicating that it is difficult to do at this time. Is that fair to Kalni.. not really. I don't think they are actively seeing a marriage counselor (I may be wrong about that) and the setting of being in a room with a counselor can make it easier than talking about it within the bedroom/Home.
"I have read that is an act of contrition to talk to your spouse about the uncomfortable stuff b/c it's healing."
I can be. It can also have the other effect. You really need to be sure you "need" all the who/what/why/when's. It can create a tremendous amount of animosity in the BS once they have the "whole picture". At that point the BS can become their own worst enemy. Again.. this is all food for thought here. I don't live Kalni's life.
"I personally don't know how a person can just move on and forget it."
There are people that do.
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
