Allen, would appreciate your advice on what one should do when you don't know and are finding it really hard to find out if the A has ended? So whether to go Bo-peep mode or go the Protection phase way with letter ?
When asked if the 6 week P/A was over, WH said to me first "it's over- we renounced the r'ship", then one month later, "It's not over, i still love her", then 2 weeks ago, "there is no relationship".
???
OW lives 10,000kms away from us today, so difficult to snoop/verify.
WH's mantra has also been "It's none of your buinesss: I won't tell you when my last contact with her was/what my plans are/It's MY intimacy".
I'm not Allen, but I'll give you my take on it, Piano. Your husband's quote would indicate to me that he's still cheating, or at least still in contact. Anyone who's not willing to be fulling transparent is either still in contact, or WANTS to be ABLE to leave that door open, in case things don't work out with you.
You need better intel. Using the cheating spouse themselves as your source of what's "true," either during an active affair or during the withdrawal phases just after, is like asking the burglar to lock the doors on the house.
