The main point Harley was making was not to dismiss the pain of rape or other violent crime... his intention in the context of the lecture was to put infidelity into the right perspective... to put it in a group with violent crimes emphasizes his point - its not beautiful, or romantic, or fun... infidelity inflicts a great deal of PAIN on people.
THAT was where he goes with that introductory remark later on in the lecture.
His point is to characterize it as emotional violence... similar to belittling someone in public or bullying someone into feeling so worthless they consider suicide as an escape.
