Originally Posted By: Puppy Dog Tails I do agree with one of your main points of your original post in this thread, however. I do think we should give more weight to those giving advice who have SUCCESSFULLY dealt with infidelity, ended their spouses' affairs, and who are successfully healing their marriages.
Puppy
Funny that. I think earlier in this thread Allen was taking the opposite view to Puppy on this.
Personally, I believe surviving and healing from infidelity in a M is fantastic enough, whether or not there is the bonus of the M being saved. I don't think, listening to some of the posters lives that all M's should even be saved - the expense to the individuals health and welfare is too much at times.
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
Saffie- are you being mean towards Allen??? Petty??? Is that called for. Boy o boy. The emotions get running high some times...
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
The main point Harley was making was not to dismiss the pain of rape or other violent crime... his intention in the context of the lecture was to put infidelity into the right perspective... to put it in a group with violent crimes emphasizes his point - its not beautiful, or romantic, or fun... infidelity inflicts a great deal of PAIN on people.
THAT was where he goes with that introductory remark later on in the lecture.
His point is to characterize it as emotional violence... similar to belittling someone in public or bullying someone into feeling so worthless they consider suicide as an escape.
Originally Posted By: Puppy Dog Tails I do agree with one of your main points of your original post in this thread, however. I do think we should give more weight to those giving advice who have SUCCESSFULLY dealt with infidelity, ended their spouses' affairs, and who are successfully healing their marriages.
Puppy
Funny that. I think earlier in this thread Allen was taking the opposite view to Puppy on this.
I am afraid it was a knee jerk reaction to the "You got my back" comment the other day which seemed needless and childish. I apologise.
One thing you have also to appreciate with me , is sometimes in my darker times I will resort to getting childish , or to humour, to try and lighten myself a bit. You don't really have much experience of me as a poster as I haven't posted much in recent times.
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
Allen, I knew this about you. I knew that you wouldn't respond to it. That is why I did. Honestly Saffie probably already regrets it. Cause I know she is actually nice.
I know your MO. Your smart...
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
Darn, another cross post! I just stated you are a nice gal Saffie and didn't mean it and now the words have lost there effect! Darn!
I guess.. this cross post just proved my point. You are a nice gal. LOL
Last edited by june72; 03/18/1002:07 PM.
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
Morning, Saffie. I couldn't agree more! I can just imagine the survey being administered to a random group.
"Of the following life experiences which you have suffered, which was the worst:
a. rape b. physical abuse c. sexual abuse of your children d. infidelity
Please rank the pain of each on a scale of one to ten."
Oh good lord. YOU'RE COMPLETELY MISSING THE POINT, LOTUS! This is HARDLY a random group! This is a group of people who have actually gone thru these various, godawful experiences in their lives, and this is what they're reporting!
If you have a problem with it, take it up with Harley. You're shooting the messengers. As for me, I think I'll head down the road apiece and help a newbie. Much less shrill over there.
