DR is just a better organized version of DB. I would always suggest reading DR first, and DB if you want more clarification, but it's a harder read.
WOW, you're dealing with a lot of emotional baggage also. I can see why she's got a wall up. Sounds like you have a lot of work on you to do. Don't despair, we all do in one way or another. Just set goals. Your goals are going to be very important or else you will feel mired in guilt with no out. Set easily achieved goals, focus on getting a life and becoming the man you want to be, someone she'd be proud to be with. Write them down and post them, and we'll help you out with them.
