ooh - ok, I'm going to buy it now. I have had moments where I could feel the underlying abandonment issues coming up - time to focus on that more now I suppose. THX all.
If you gave up trying to do chores, you can go give him some advice. He read some marriage books he said (on another thread) said he has been trying to reach his wife and doesn't want to D but does not see why she "can't hear him" about their undersexed life. He posted a text conversation thread on here for "diagnosis" he said that is quite a conunudrum:
The banter and easy teasing (like the beating him home thing) is 100% good!
I think my H may have tried to act like that with me before he really came out of the fog, but it had been so long I definitely didn't play along. I truly though we were over, over, over and had no interest in being friends with him. Co-existing peacefully? Yes. Friends like Bruce and Demi and going to each other's weddings? Um, not a chance in hell!
Me38,H:38,S:7 Married:6/99 Bomb:7/04 Sep.:5/05 D Filed:3/08;Final 1/10 Piecing:11/09 H moved back:09/10 Current thread: http://tiny.cc/htcty
Hope4Luv, or anyone- what is "piecing" and when do you do it?
thanks Jaime
When the men on the chessboard Get up and tell you where to go; And you've just had some kind of mushroom And your mind is moving slow; Go ask Alice... I think she'll know.
THanks. I needed to hear that. I"m working hard on PMA and reframing things as positive but I honestly don't know what is reality sometimes. I could also see him as being superficial and avoiding intimacy. But I am going to see that friends could lead to more...I get scared that it could also be the "let's be Divorced FRiends" crap too but I'm trying not to let fear of the unknown run my life anymore!
Tonight I"m more glum. We were apart extra days as S was sick and we didn't want to risk infecting our main breadwinner so H stayed away!
Also probably because of the bombiversary. I came home tonight late and he's watching Dog the Bounty Hunter. lol. I feel like bonding talking catching up I"m so full of emotion and his laying in front of the tube passively not talking to me feels so cold. Trying to not take it as rejection. I"m trying to stay positive and tell myself it probably isn't meant as against me, he's probably tired, and certainly as a guy doesn't want to talk about anything.
I just miss him darnit and all my panic is coming back as he is more absent this week. My panic is back with the bombiversary. My desperation and fear is creeping back and I've tried all day to keep it under wraps.
I wish I could feel done like you did - so that all this doesn't get to me so much. The more afraid I get of his distance, the more I feel the urge to pursue, but I'm determined not to. Result is I feel empty and scared. I"m probably freaking out over nothing - often am. Time to impliment the 24/48 hr. rule. Sorry for the vent.
sometimes I don't have a clue what piecing is either. Hence the original name of my thread "Is this piecing?" lol
I felt it in my gut is all I can say. The constant anger and blame that was fired at me for so many months subsided. We entered MC. HOwever I still don't have a full commitment, I have "I don't think we have a chance we were doomed from the start" all that crap. BUt he said he would try. He said he'd give it a chance in MC to see if it feels different. SO I'm Dbing my butt off and feeling like I have a genuine chance.
This differs a lot from being in the place early on when you're dumped and just hoping they will talk to you like a normal person, let alone not file for D.
Ask others - I would be curious actually how they see piecing. Good luck.
