Mandatory Don'ts when Divorce Busting

[Piano]

Just read your comments on another thread Allen....

Penny has, on her forums written that she has a lot of disagreements with MWD on the subject of infidelity. Within building a healthy and lasting marriage she raves about MWD, but PT has a much more aggressive stance on infidelity and is 100% in line with it being an addiction.

That's a big part of the original debate in the other thread, what is more effective in combatting infidelity - bcoming the perfect partner or playing hardball?

And yes, you like many people (including myself) who read MWD try the softball approach and end up frustrated or in some cases (mine) physically ill.

I wasted a lot of time using Bo-Peep until I was so ill i went to a doctor. And I NEVER see a doctor, I despise them.

The resentment does build up yes... PT comments on this too, the protection phase isn't just for you, its for your spouse and for your marriage.. in her view having regular exposure during an affair erodes YOUR respect for yourself, your spouse, and your hope for your marriage.

Further your spouse is exposed to that negative energy and watches your hope fade and it just makes things worse for them too.. they can FEEL the resentment building... protecting your spouse from that gives them a more positive view of you.

In a way, it might be best to do Bo-Peep long enough to leave your spouse with a good last impression and then to go into protection phase... rather than going in there looking like a miserable hag so to speak.. which can happen.

Allen, would appreciate your advice on what one should do when you don't know and are finding it really hard to find out if the A has ended? So whether to go Bo-peep mode or go the Protection phase way with letter ?

When asked if the 6 week P/A was over, WH said to me first "it's over- we renounced the r'ship", then one month later, "It's not over, i still love her", then 2 weeks ago, "there is no relationship".

???

OW lives 10,000kms away from us today, so difficult to snoop/verify.

WH's mantra has also been "It's none of your buinesss: I won't tell you when my last contact with her was/what my plans are/It's MY intimacy".