Her heart has already left

[pearlharbr]

Yes, the WAS says all kinds of hurtful things in an effort to rewrite the R history and justify their cheating. Whatever.

I totally understand wanting to punch the OW. I called and confronted her as soon as I found out about the A, not a good thing to do. After that I just let it go. I had many a mean thought about her but decided to leave her punishment up to the universe. She got laid off a couple months into the A and that was a good start for me. Now I just don't want to waste time and energy on trash like that.

The only thing you can do about OW is expose the affair to her partner if she has one.

So W agreed to no contact? Is there a transparency plan in place to ensure no contact? Without a transparency plan I will bet good money (that I don't have) W and OW will be in contact.

If the second book on the list is "Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay," then I have read that one. I'm actually planning to reread it now. I found it helpful but of course BF had to manufacture a reason to justify the cheating. I asked him about it when we started talking about reconciling and he doesn't remember what it was and of course now whatever it was isn't an issue.

My point is that W is so fogged out right now that you have to remember to believe nothing she says and only half of what she does.

Are you going to joint counseling again?