setting boundaries when not clear if A is over

[Piano]

Flowmom, I think he is certainly, deep in his unconscious, very scared of being a father. He was someone who was/is very emotionally intelligent when it comes to other people, but was always on the run from himself. For eg, he couldn't spend a night alone and must have received all his affirmation via others. PArt of how he made his way through the world..from hard beginnings. I knew that, but did't realise how deep this insecure core ran through him.

Anyway, the short of his story is that he was abandonned by his father at birth and only met him 2 or 4 times. So today, his story is that an absent father is NORMAL. And whatever he is going to do has to be better than his father, and that'll do. But worse, he has no idea of how to be a father INSIDE a family unit. He's fine latching onto other poeple's families, but when it comes to being in his OWN -- I think he feels like he would drown....

I am in detach mode really for the first time since the bomb, 2.5 months ago...

I think cos of baby on board, I can't go DARK but DIM will have to do.

NO WAY I am having him in the birth.

I am practicing hypnobirthing which is all about being in a very calm space...

I'd just want to throttle him if he was beside me during labor!!