Saying that your X's new marriage is pointless because she does not value marriage is just hard for them to hear, and serves no purpose.
So I should allow the counter argument to go unchallenged? I should allow xW, OM, xMIL, et al., make their statements that this M is valid and respectable, when they have all denigrated the M and the family they conspired to destroy? Simply because that was then and this is now? Should one's loyalties be so transient? To deny one and uphold the other?
Believe me, I understand the objective to be the best interests of my S's, but I fail to understand where this loyalty to M, to it's sacredness, has any relevance now that the proverbial horse is out of the barn. It's too late to worry about the chickens in the hen house when the foxes are lying around fat and sated. The point of teaching my children civility and the respect for M and family has been made mute by the destruction of the family we once shared together, by xW's relentless drive to tear us all apart.
Let me tell you, in case you haven't heard, what happens to the ex-husbands that go along quietly with the waywards in xW's family. I know/knew three of them personally, xMIL's former husbands. They become black-listed. Persona non grata. Nameless ones. Their WAW's demand that these LBS' be totally shunned and forgotten. Even their own children are coerced into shunning these former family members. Some struggle to maintain ties with the family members, but in the end they give up, totally demoralized.
I still remember how creeped-out I felt when everyone turned their back on xMIL's husband #2, a nice guy abandoned for the one who would be H #3. And if anyone were to defy the blacklist, they too would find themselves ostracized. I was so ashamed but xW begged us to go along. I know it sounds too monstrous to be true, but it is.
THAT is what I am facing. THAT is what I am fighting against.
Maybe I am my own worst enemy. Perhaps my efforts harm the very cause for which I stand. But I will not go down without a fight. Unlike the others, I will not go down quietly.
But if I can reign in my anger and my fears perhaps I can manage to stand firm with a minimum of impact to my S's. I don't know. I must try my best.
