You're much welcome, but you ARE doing well on your own; we all learn that we contain the answers within ourselves, and won't always need someone else to draw them out of us.
Yet, on the other hand..when we're confused, fearful; and feel boxed in, it DOES help to have someone sitting on the outside of that box to help us get out of it; teaching us to detach from the situation at hand, helping us to understand that our love for someone won't go away because we are protecting ourselves with detachment.
The biggest fear, it always seemed to me(and I faced it, too), is feeling that when you reach total detachment, you'll lose your love, when the opposite is true; you'll gain in love, as you recognize that you cannot FIX the situation, and love that person enough to totally let go, letting chips fall where they may; knowing, also, you've done all you can do to stand. So you, STAND, therefore, in confidence and some measure of peace.
We lose the fear of the unknown so we CAN access the answers that lie within ourselves without feeling we cannot trust ourselves; trusting what we feel within ourselves IS learned with time and detachment. When the fear begins to fade after total detachment is reached, we can see MORE clearly what is we need to do in regards to our own individual situation.
We realize that we have more power than we ever thought we had; but choose to do what we do, because we have learned not to take anything personally, and because we DO love the person we are married to, for better, for worse.
After awhile, you can go on knowing you're doing what you need to do without someone there to hold you up...as you build confidence within yourself, you then begin to hold yourself up, depending more upon yourself. In time, you will depend less on others, more on you and that is the way it should be.
We should always, too, have confidence in the Lord, yet, I also have learned that although we should/can have all faith and confidence in Him, but we need to also have that same type of faith and confidence in ourselves to step forward; to do what's needing to be done when it has to be, even IF we are afraid at times. Courage is born out of fear, so we step forward, letting go of the outcome in that process.
We're always maturing, learning, growing..and that never stops until we are gone from this earth.
The lessons learned in this big trial of our lives stay with us for a lifetime, and are passed on to others to learn and for their understanding in whatever they are facing in their lives.
The effects of your learning are more far-reaching than anyone realizes; I, too, have seen that, and continue to see that same thing as I continue on with my own life.
Much love, HB
Remember, as each person is different, every MLC/Transition is different..what works for one may not work for another. Most of the time it is trial and error for ALL involved.
