flowmom, I like your idea about altering my 180 to warm communication. I've said my piece to him about my negative/sad feelings, so I'll work now on doing what you suggested--listening, validating, and showing appreciation. I've considered doing the DB coaching, but it may have to wait until I recover from my renovation expenses (and take care of a few other pressing needs, like repairing or replacing my dishwasher). It would be worth it to do the coaching.
I have read Why Men Love Bitches (very funny read, by the way). Your suggestion is a good one--it would leave him wanting more and remove some of the control from him. However, I'm torn about the pursuer role in my situation. H feels like I've never pursued him, that he's been neglected, and that I wasn't bothered by the separation as it progressed. I certainly don't want to be clingy or seem desperate. Going dark was "more of the same" to him. I need to ponder this so that I can find the right balance with giving him what he wants but without crossing any lines that will push him further away.
I'm not a fan of emotional discussions via text, either, but I am of the opinion that right now I'll take any kind of communication from him. I just want to keep the lines of communication open. He's always been a big fan of texting, though, so I've been working on putting aside my feelings about it and texting with him.
Thanks for your input and advice. You've given me some ideas of things on which to work. Once again, you've inspired me!
