Question

[awest1217]

The meeting was ok. It was pretty much that I have my job, and may not get my increment raise, which is up to the state and we won't know until the govenor decides to sign the bill on his desk or not.

As for H...it is a long story, but to keep it short because I am tired and don't feel like really putting too much detail in this. H text me a while this afternoon like yesterday, and I was just answering questions. He asked if it was easier if we didn't talk. I never said anything. We kept talking and he brought up us. Pretty much he said he is unhappy in our relationship because I am too overbearing and controlling. I have admitted to this many times and have been working on it. (He never said anything about him changing). I asked questions to which he said "i don't know". He did say he is going to talk to a friend and a counselor this week to help him sort some things out. He said he has a lot on his mind with his health, us, where to live, etc. I said a lot of ok and validating. I asked about taxes and figured we will file together this last time. Then asked about visitation to which he wanted to decide over texting so I made him say we would figure it out Friday at pizza. (this is the part i am having a hard time with because I don't want to give my baby to him, but H is his dad so I have no choice). I ended it with me saying I am tired of H saying he is unhappy with our relationship without giving me any solutions of how to help it. I also am tired of being blamed, and that although I would love for us to work, I am tired of holding our relationship together and that I feel there isn't a relationship because we only see each other once a week, text, never talk on the phone, and go at least one week a month without ever communicating.

He did text me just a little bit ago to say good night and "i do love you". I right now am trying to decide if I should put my ring back on for Friday night, otherwise I am heading towards divorce. Tonight once again showed me that he is not willing to even take a step. The people in north carolina must have agreed with him that he has done nothing wrong because we are back to me having to change and me being controlling and it is all unfair to him.

Although I am venting, I am not too upset besides realizing in a few weeks i will have to deal not having S with me, but I am not allowing S to spend the night with H until he has a permanent living arrangement because S needs consistency. I will type all of this up in a parental agreement and have us both sign on Friday night.

Any thoughts or advice...please let me know because right now I am in uncharted territory and I don't want to give up prematurely, but at the same time, I need to make sure I protect S and I.