Yes I analyze this (how she should act and why is she so crazy?) way too much so thanks for splashing the water on me.
OK on varying the hangout (but actually the sports bar has lots of women around too - I met a few one night recently and some of my friends who are 'in the know' about my situation at home are trying to introduce me to people already).
Perception - I get it.
Another thing that changed recently is that I got a new higher paying job and I think more $$s are on the way over the course of the year as things start happening for me there. I had to really upgrade my wardrobe and am traveling a lot also. Job is going really well so I usually mention that to W when I get a chance - I figured it sets me off from OM and creates a big contrast (he is basically an unambitious guy who works once in a while driving a cement mixer, but otherwise lives off of the woman he had a kid with).
Again, another lesson in logic, trying to appear better than the other man doesn't work. She sees through it. When you try to prove to someone else that you're better than another person it actually does the opposite. When you attempt to prove value you are communicating you actually have little or none.
That OM doesn't have to communicate value, you said it, he's a bum, unambitious, etc. yet she perceives his value to be higher than yours, think about that, it has nothing to do with your money or job so no need to communicate that to her anymore.
