S17 and I had another long heart to heart last night. I actually laid things on the line for him in terms of his future. I told him how worried I was about him and said that if other people had told me exactly what he had told me on Monday morning I would be worried so the fact that he is my son makes it even worse.
We talked about his GF and also some other females that would like to be his GF! We talked about the 'hanger-on' in his life and I told him that he had to disassociate himself from them in order to build a good life. I used D19 as an example. When she was younger, just before XH left, she got in with a crowd who were all using weed.. Thankfully she realised it was doing her harm and without any prompting she quite literally broke all ties with all of those young people. That was very tough for her as they had all been friends for a very long time but obviously she chose the right path.
In the past S17 would have started to shout and tell me that I was trying to contorl his life etc and that I was just bitter about his dad (incidentally I never even mentioned him) but last night he listened and I could tell he was genuinely listening b/c he wanted to. He promised me he would consider all that I had said and I think he will do that.
Tonight he is out with his GF. They have both spent the alst two evenings with me. I have asked him to be in by a certain time as he has colege tomorrow. It remains to be seen whether he respects my wishes.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
