...I guess it is still at 'game point' - it seems like we walked up to the edge but there was a pull back of some sorts. It may be short lived. I actually think that it is a good idea for her to move out - I say this because what she has been doing (staying but 'separated' in our own house) hasn't been working. I don't think there is any chance she will 'wake up' unless her world radically changes, and it would be a very very slight chance in that case. I feel like I am in a better frame of mind to handle it now, however, which is good.
Have you considered dating yet?
Up to this point, it's been you losing her. You dealt with the fear of loss, you acted & reacted, tried to be a better husband, etc. She has never had to fear your loss. You can tell right now that the concept of her moving out, getting her own place, having to take care of herself, break up her family has caused her to waffle back & forth: some days she adamant about divorcing and other days she enjoys a good time with you & your family and then the next day she reacts poorly and angrily because it confuses her, how can she have a good time with you & your family when she wants to leave & divorce you? It doesn't compute in her head. She is emotionally driven, she enjoys her good feelings and emotions and it bothers her that sometimes she associates good feelings & emotions with YOU of all people. Can't you see that yet? Examples: coming into your bedroom in the morning while you're still half asleep and questioning how you can be fine with all of this (there is a clue there, always be happy around her, like this is the best thing that could be happening for you), her taking down the wedding pics and then.... putting them back up. Not logical is it? Heck if she wants to divorce you, the logical thing to do was to remove those wedding pics from where they were hanging instead of always being reminded that she's married to you but then.... she puts them back up. Interesting don't you think? It's not logical because she isn't using logic (and you can stop asking questions as to why she thinks this way and that way and it doesn't make sense), she is led by her emotions, she is led by her good feelings, like I said before, she is emotionally driven, she's a woman, she's not a man, women are much more emotional then men and their actions and decisions are usually emotionally fueled. You have this knowledge now, start using it to your advantage.
Anyways back to what I originally started with, yes, the evil idea of .... DATING!
You've noticed what a little bit of reality is doing to this situation. What would happen if she were to find out that you are moving on, no longer attached to the idea of being married to her? The idea of you losing interest in her, no longer the backup plan in her fantasy filled plan of living on fruitopia with the OM but just in case things didn't work out, I have my hubby to go back to, I have that safety net..... remove the safety net, let her feel a little of what you felt, real fear of loss, jealousy, those types of emotions make a person think and reconsider what they're doing.
