ssmguy said: "I think it's easily possible for people to be in love with more than one person at a time (I can just hear DQ responding "of course YOU can, you're a monster")."

Yes ssmguy, actually I used that exact type of logic when I was behaving like a monster and having affairs, too. And now I realize the flaw with that logic...

You cannot build true intimacy and trust with one person and achieve the higher levels of sexuality if you are split between two or more lovers. You don't need that type of intimacy in your other relationships, such as with children and siblings. Therefore, the logic doesn't hold when you are talking about a sex life versus love among all the others in your life.

Its not just that it is "wrong" to love more than one intimacy partner at once. Its that you will never go farther than the surface, you will not be able to rise above basic sexuality and achieve higher levels of it. I'm not talking about romantic love, either.

I guess you, ssmguy, just will not ever see what I am trying to talk about. You are steeped in your rationalizations, and that is what keeps you in a sexless marriage and getting only so-so sex on the side. I was in your shoes, and it eventually broke me down. Maybe you will just continue as you are forever, and will never get to feel and experience the type of true sexual intimacy I'm referring to.

DQ