I sent an email to OW early on In the initial exposure of their affair.
I copied it from PT's site, it went something like, "I know you are involved with my H. Please respect our 23 year relationship and end your contact with him." No drama, nothing she could respond to, nothing disrespectful...high road for me!
But for you, now, I don't know. I was blasting away at the secrecy. That isn't the case for you.
"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" 1st thread