Hey all- One of you knows most of all of this but here is the latest.
Wife and kids came down last weekend, we had a pretty nice time. She left on saturday but then turned around about a half an hour away because she didn't feel well...wanted to come "home". that was nice I thought. spent the day just kindof hanging out, it was nice.
one of my partners quit here, opening the job for me to stay here (one of the reasons to leave before was that there wasn't enough work). there was some discussion of that, which she didn't really take well to, since it would mean coming back here, where she doesn't like it here... I would still be able to do heart surgery... but after much thought I am sticking with my original plan to move up there and start the job in may. moving in two weeks (but will be here two more staying with someone). renting a house down the road from her house as she did not feel comfortable with me moving in... so I have a lease to august.
she still talks about wanting to go and see this new marriage counsellor. I suppose this is good, but at the same time there are no real other efforts to reconcile...so I don't know what to make of that.
she makes it impossible for me to detach, as she went to a concert last night and sends me a picture of herself saying 'thinking of you'. but then otherwise its the same old same old... not much contact during the day-- she is just living her life up there with the boys.
I am caught between a rock and a hard place I feel some times, because I want to be available to her (as I was not before) but then I am taken on a yo yo ride every day...
I have been going out with some folks doing trivia, bowling. I've played some basketball. I've been trying to study but it is very hard.
so in a month I will be up there. she has said that she wants to believe in me but doesn't yet.
