feel like giving up - pt 2

[talia]

Luv,
I'm not going to diminish your hopelessness... I know how you feel. Lets change it up. Forget for a min about the whole "filing first" thing... How much time do you feel DBing should take? How much time are you willing to devote to change? How much time do YOU need to get YOUR crap figured out?

I think your expectations for fixing this aren't in line with the reality of actually putting in the time.

Lets just say ... for example.. that 1/2 your time together has been leading to this breakdown... so its been going bad slowly for 11 years! Do you really think that 4 months to fix it is enough? What if its been going bad for 2 years... is 4 months a reasonable amount of time to fix it?

I don't know what the "right" time frame is... but I'm pretty sure 4 months ISN'T the right time frame to gage if its fixable...

That being said... It MIGHT be time for some tough love. I think you said you read "Love Must be Tough" - might be time to implement that... Give him an ultimatum to get with it or get out...

Hang in there - this is a marathon not a sprint!

T