I've been feeling very detached from H in the last couple of days.. Even had a brief email exchange without it phasing me at all..

But the peace and detachment feels weird!

I've been used to fighting for things/myself all through my life.. so peaceful feelings are so foreign to me... I feel like I should be doing some action or something.. other than what I am doing now.. but there isn't the urgency to actually take action...Or any particular action I'd like to take...

I'm hoping this awkwardness will fade, because I think this weirdness is what used to prompt me into doing rash things to cause chaos... but even the awkwardness feels different, so I'm hoping not this time.. I have a mindfulness now that I didn't have before..

I think because I was raised in such a dysfunctional environment chaos and conflict is more comfortable than peace to me .. if that makes any sense..

I don't have the urgent drive I used to feel anymore.. and it's not a bad thing as maybe I was running from myself then too..

Is it normal for detachment and peace to feel weird?

~ This Diamond now SHINES!! ;-p ~

My Sitch in MLC - http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Main=45253&Number=1901148#