MWD covers this as GAL, but she doesn't go as "hard-ball" on removing the spouse from your life completely before you pursue this... that is where Penny and MWD differ...
I think its a LOT harder to GAL while you are still exposing yourself to your spouse's destructive behaviour daily.. at least it was for me.
There is a "fog" for abandoned spouses too once you start to pursue a life again you realize you can actually have one, without your spouse!
And yes I know there are those attachment pangs like a hunger for lunch inside growling from time to time, but the good news on that is your H feels something similar, or he never had any feelings for you.
His quibbling about you being cold is in my assessment partly his frustraion at not being able to manipulate you and partly his discomfort with the detachment you are pushing on him.
I never saw this much until I saw my WS go through her first withdrawal... two days of panic and wailing... humans do build invisible attachments between themselves.
These attachments get nurtured, celebrated, and cherished through the years. Unfortunately they also get beaten up, neglected, and cast aside...
The physical embodiment of these are the childen we produce.
He does feel something, or he woudl'nt be grumbling to you.
What YOU need to do is protect yourself from that grumbling.. he's only going to manipulate you into an unhealthy place right now.
