still separated, in limbo, still hopeful

[newmama]

Saint, I getcha! I will definitely get all done up before going out on Fri night!

CW thanks for the encouragement....even if there is no R, I have ZERO regrets not filing for D!

[flowmom]

How's it going newmama? I hope you have good plans for the day. hugs to you.

[newmama]

Actually I feel totally fine! In a good mood! Since WH will be here tonight it means I can join some teacher friends for Happy Hour when he gets here!

[flowmom]

great newmama. and of course you'll be mysterious, perfumed and pretty when you go out right? "I wonder where she's going?..."

[newmama]

Yeah well 3 nights in a row of being all gussied up...today, tomorrow, Friday..but I think if I always do it then it will look fake! However, I do legitimately have things to do, so I will look good in different ways for each of these events!

Have you added a limerick yet to my FB page? lol

[newmama]

June- have you dealt with infidelity?

Do you know me?

Do you know people who have overcome adversity in their lives and thrived? Are those people in denial of their feelings?

I don't know why I care...it's my choice and my life. So that's the end of my defensiveness- it NOT GOOD FOR PMA!!!!

[S.T. _I Made It!]

I just keep wondering why you want him back at this point. That you deserve better than this, why would you settle for him at this point? I mean you could be searching for someone now that would LOVE to be a full-time dad. I mean he basically choice this OW OVER his own son. What type of integrity is that? You can excuse it all away with love chemicals, addiction, etc. When it comes down to it- a human is still responsible for the actions they take.

wow. this is a board to help SAVE M's not try to give up and find new ones.

unless someone is being abused, then anyone on here who wants to work at saving an M, should be supported in doing so.


and NM, I LOVE how you said "in sickness and in health" that is exactly how I describe these WAS... they are mentally sick. eventually, they will come out of it, and will the LBS be there? or will they have given up?

It takes 2 people to destroy a M, not one. the easy way out is D. it takes great strength to bite your tongue, humble yourself, and do the steps necessary to help save your M. And believe me, it was the hardest thing I've ever done, and I praise the Lord for allowing me to go thru that horrible hell. My M is so much better than before, and we continue to grow each year to better our R.

[S.T. _I Made It!]

hey girl!! are you ready to go out!?!

hey, you should fix up everyday, that doesn't mean your being fake, unless your overdoing it. have your hair and makeup nice and wear nice fitting clothes, not sweats and baggy stuff. and when you go out at night, wear the sexy stuff, perfume, and hair makeup sexy too.

you know what to do. hope you have a great time! you are the type that will make it fun no matter what! love your PMA you are doing so great!

[S.T. _I Made It!]

a question for those of you against what nm is doing.

what would she be doing differently if she was not trying to save her m?

nothing.

so is it the hope that she has to save it really the problem?

NM, are you in a mindframe that you know whatever happens, whether you save your M or not, that you will be Okay and have a great future?

hope to save, is good. hope is what helps motivate us. but I believe NM knows nothing is guaranteed, but her goal, her vision, is to save her M, and she is going to do everything she can to give her the best chance at saving it.

which is exactly what she should be doing if she wasn't trying to save it.

IMHO.

true DBing is about saving yourself.

[4luv]

I don't have a problem with what NM is doing. AS long as she feels fine and that comes across in her post then I think she is fine on her path. We all have to do things on our timing. I did what NM is doing for a year while living together even though some posters told me to leave sooner. While I did eventually leave, I did it when I WAS READY!! The same for NM...I am sure she will switch up her game plan when she is ready.

I don't think people have a problem but are rather just offering her some other ideas based on THEIR OPINION of improving her marriage. Yes june's post did hint that she should move on and not be with her husband but only NM REALLY knows her husband's heart and who HE IS so ONLY she can decide to be with him or not. Same with my husband...

Posters asked me why am I staying with him with the way he has treated me but only I know our FULL HISTORY which is why I chose to fight for the marriage.

But I didn't take offence to other's opinions of what I should do (and I don't see NM doing that either).

BTW, ST..not an attack on you just answering your posts. You are also one of the vets whose advice I follow and I admire your strength in the Lord. He has been my ROCK in my stitch also.