Are you getting good marital advice?

[saffie]

You can not trust a cheater- that trust must totally be earned back. That is basic knowledge. I get frustrated but the gulliableness (sp?)of people not seeing the true right in front of them. Accepting a cheaters word.
It's hard I know, I can only imagine. You just want so badly to believe.

At some point though, if you reconcile, you have to learn to trust again. that is where the four corner stones Lotus talked about earlier in this thread come in. It is a hard thing to do. Piecing is harder than breaking up an A I can tell you- way harder. You so badly want to believe but at the same time, something will come and trigger a bad memory and you go flying backwards along the healing path - even years later. That's with a completely committed and transparent H - with one where I know why it went wrong in the first place. With a man who tells me every day how much he loves me.

Where I disagree with MWD is that I don't believe only one S can do all the work. When it gets to piecing you need to be able to open up and talk and heal. That's where many fall down on here.