Some questions

[dday101798]

Some people look at the "Another Divorce Busted" section for inspiration, I, however, look at piecing. It's where I hope to be within the next year (fingers crossed). So I had some questions to sort of mentally prepare myself before I get here.

I'm not overly familiar with your situation, do things appear to be headed in a positive direction post D?

1. How do you deal with insecurities re: OP?

Ahhh, question #1, and the hardest question of all. I would not say I'm fully cured on this matter, I won't deny it. However, the medication for this problem is open communication. If you detect something is not right, or you know there has been contact between the two, your spouses answer/reaction is what cures those insecurities.

Example is I have admitedly checked (x)W's cell phone on occasion and found messages from OM. Each time, (x)W has gavin me solid and repeated answers. If there were inconsistancies, then I'd be calling B/S and we'd be nowhere.

Also, when you can openly discuss with your spouse about the A, the more you learn they weren't REALLY happy at all with OP, in fact, quite the opposite.

That said, the hard part, at least from the standpoint of a man is shaking that mental image of them together. The things they did together, what OM did to YOUR W's body to please her, that is where I still have internal conflict.

2. At what point did you decide you were officially piecing.

When all the dirty laundry was aired, all marital issues were cleared without accusations. (x)W was apologetic, remorseful and for the first time REGRETFUL. Then we were able to look each other in the eye and feel that never ending connection. DONE.

3. Now this one's a little weird. My view on NC is to make HIM come to ME since I had always GONE to HIM. At what point is it acceptable (probably before piecing) for me to start pursuing him again (I mean, in a M it can't be all one sided forever, right?)? I guess what I'm saying is after a few successful dates, can I ask him out?

Im' not sure I follow you on this one. But if I read you right, he is the WAS? Then yes, he should come to you. However, dating, fine......"asking out"???? Are we in high school? lol