Journaling:

A very disconcerting thing happened Fri. evening. H came home early (was sent home actually) due to his rash. The phone rings and I answer it.

female voice: Hello!
Me: Hello?
female voice (different?) in background: Ask if T's there...
Me: Hellooo??
Female voice: *giggle*

click, hung up.

I just kind of stared at the phone for a few seconds, rather undecided as to how to react. I finally went back into the living room and put it back on the base-station and yell up at H "well, I guess I should have let you answer that." I then sat down and retreated into "Zooland". I could hear H kinda far away asking what? who called? blah,blah,blah. Finally his insistence on a response from me got through and I told him what had occured. He says absolutely NOTHING once told...just continues to play his comp game. No, "WTF?" "Who would do that?" or anything. I probably sat there for a half an hour mulling over his lack of response.

I started to get angry

I wrestled that beast a bit then went up and asked H who might have made that call since the background noise led me to believe it was done from the plant. H said he had no idea...later he said he couldn't even guess since he didn't take the call so didn't hear the voices. I let it drop. H wasn't feeling well and I knew pursuing it would/could lead to a blow-up because of that.

Ended up co-ercing H into going to the emergency room that night as i watched the rash worsen literally before my eyes. E-room Dr hadn't a clue what it was but deemed it "viral in nature". H still has the rash It seems to be better in some places and really nasty looking in others. I thought the same thing though yesterday and by the time H got out of bed and in good light it turned out to be just as bad as ever. To top it off, H started feeling dizzy and "weird" last night while at the grocery. I wasn't sure he was going to make it home (H wouldn't let me drive )...he drove UNDER the speed limit the whole way back and had this intensity about him...

H apologized to me for having to put our plans aside for the evening...a cozy nest made down on the floor, some drinks, a movie----- ....I said that was ok, there was always another night Later, when we went to bed H told me I was "so totally loveable", and he "felt lucky to have me" Lots of cuddling and baby kisses and touching to make up for earlier

The man continues to amaze me If someone had asked me what my LL was 6 mos ago I would have said "words of affirmation" without hesitation. It turns out that that is a fallacy. Words are nice but not necessary anymore. H has showed me that I value "touch" far more then I would have believed. It speaks to me on a deeper level. Six mos ago I would have put touch at the bottom of my list if not said it was something I backed away from completely (receiving not giving). I have been known to jerk away from people touching me...invading my personal space

H is learning that the "giving" of touch is just as rewarding as receiving it too In the past I had asked him on a couple of occasions to rub my back or whatever just to relieve an ache or pain...H flat out refused to. Said he didn't like it, that it was a pain in the a$$ and a burden Definitely no longer the story now

In the nearly 4 years (as of Feb 25th, this ear ) we have been married I have never been able to get H to drink wine. This might not be a big deal to some but I appreciate a good bottle of wine...unfortunatley I can't drink a whole bottle by myself, well, not without getting totally snockered out of my mind anyway I also do not like to put a bottle back in the fridge once it has been opened (It looses something). Since the wedding we went to in Chicago H has started to partake of the vine He totally floored me yesterday when he said " we forgot to stop and pick up some more wine yesterday. It would have been nice to cuddle up an drink some together huh?" This from a man who SWORE he hated the stuff and that it tasted like a$$

We share so much now and it all seems so new and wonderful and strange. There is an intimacy between us that might even be deeper then what we had in the beginning...people see us just LOOK at one another and tell us to go get a room LOLOL!

Oh, the phone call?? I've given up the ghost on that. H wasn't freaked out by it so why should I be? It could have been someone trying to stir up trouble or just one of those weird, coincidental wrong numbers. I'm not going to drive myself nuts worrying about it

Shiny, what does it mean when you dream about cleaning your carpets 2 nights in a row???

Hugz,
Zoo

"If patience is worth anything, it must endure to the end of time. And a living faith will last in the midst of the blackest storm." - Mahatma Gandhi