But I have seen it work. Butterflymom was the best example. Alisuddenly, too. Sometimes patience and determination does pay off.
I'm not familiar with their sitches -- I'll have to read them. I personally have never followed someone where it worked. Hope4Us was probably THE most patient guy I ever saw on here -- him and Mules -- but both of them actually did some very hard-core confronting, exposing (even to their kids) and legal hardball along the way.
I'm not saying it can't be done. I'm saying I've personally never seen it, whereas I HAVE seen the opposite approach work, quite well.
I even did a thread once, something called "Any Regrets?" or some such. Nearly to a man/woman, the #1 regret was "I didn't get tougher, sooner."
As my brother Tom once told me, two things that people never say on their death beds:
1. "I wish I had spent MORE time at the office"; and
