You did so good! That sounded like some friendly, dare I say, flirting? I wouldn't go out and order the 50th anniversary invitations yet, but this is good. You want light, playful banter. How you would be with a friend because you need to become friends again first.
And stop dwelling on how he's harped on you or things not or never changing. It's all MLC/WAS talk. Yes, those were legit issues in your R, but you probably had most of them in varying degrees right from the start of your R. Does that make it doomed? Um, no. You have to remember that they're colored by his unhappiness. You know the saying about looking at things through rose colored glasses--well this is the opposite. He's seeing your R through gray cloud colored glasses which make things seem 10x bigger too.
Me38,H:38,S:7 Married:6/99 Bomb:7/04 Sep.:5/05 D Filed:3/08;Final 1/10 Piecing:11/09 H moved back:09/10 Current thread: http://tiny.cc/htcty
THank you Freckle! :)You think the banter is good? I do too. Did you and your H have a period like that?
BUt um yea, H has specifically said OUR R IS DOOMED because those things were there from the start! LOL. But I know it's WAS script= it just rattles around in my head too much sometimes...that's a big challenge for me...
ok FM - here's my heart list of gratitude... =my son. Every moment of every day. -my support group -my therapy -my cats -my home -my H not being totally gone - yet -this board and all the great advice -my IRL friends -learning to set boundaries -my independence -learning not to beg or plead -the bills are still being paid -learning ODP and how to control emotions -working on PMA, self esteem, - against the tide of depression -my dad -self soothing anxieties and insecurities -MC and the newfound communication -sunshine -springtime -chocolate -coffee -theatre
Sorry to read that you're feeling down today. Can you set a timer for 30 minutes and just let yourself feel what you're feeling...THEN do your chores?
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
I wouldn't go out and order the 50th anniversary invitations yet, but this is good. You want light, playful banter. How you would be with a friend because you need to become friends again first. 