I sense that he is not telling me the whole truth because he still tries to avoid the possible fall out it would cause. I am closer to thinking she knows OW, she is interested in him etc, than that he is interested in her... After all, guys, he has sgiven me the password, if they were seeing each other I am sure she would be the first one to know.
This sounds right to me. I think he is afraid to admit to even knowing her, almost. So he goes into denial instead. Which leads to the half truths and suspicions. At this point, I would say to concentrate on his actions. He talked with you, as much as he can. He held you, and gave you some of what you needed. It's still one of those steps in the right direction!
I think she tried to IM him, he didn't respond, and when she closed it, she let the system send it to him as an email. I think he is pretty close to innocent in this one, other than probably downplaying the fact that they do know each other. But again, that's his fear.
This is how I would read it too.
There are many ways to chat, not just through yahoo. You can chat through facebook and gmail through many other means. I've had people chat with me without my doing anything to initiate the chat so it doesn't mean that he participated in anything.
And I think it's positive that you invited physical connection with your H. The more attached and connected you are with one another, the more your M will be emotionally safe for both of you, and safe from intrusions by others (and whether we like it or not there will always be others who are attracted to our spouses if our spouses are attractive).
I'm sorry that you're going through this turmoil (((Kalni))).
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
