NCB, I definitely do not advocate praising your X or being friendly to keep the peace. I am not friends with my X or his new wife. I speak to him as little as possible, and I do not acknowledge her existence for the most part. All I am saying is that saying things like her marriage means nothing because she does not value marriage makes you look petty, and that may stick in their minds. I will never abdicate my authority, but I also know that my authority does not extend into their home. As long as I know that my children are not in physical danger, it is not my place to say what can be done or said in their home, just as it is not his place to say what can be done on my home. I do not ask what they do or say in their home. My X has been married to her for two years and I have no idea where they got married or if the kids were even present. It's not my business. I know that he has said $h!t about me to my kids, but I have never said a word to him about it, because it would be pointless and would probably actually make him angry at the kids for telling me. There have been times when the kids say things that make me want to point out how much of an a$$ their father can be, but I bite my tongue. They have talked to me about problem with im and I just say I am sorry that they are dealing with that, etc... They will have to work out their relationship with their father on their terms, it is not for me to dictate. The things you dislike that your wife does with the kids are not any better when done for your purposes.
"You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf." Jon Kabat-Zinn
