feel like giving up - pt 2

[luvless]

ST - I feel my situation is hopeless but you're right I keep forgetting how long your H ow was in the picture. He came back because he probably realized he still loved you. I don't see that happening with mine. His unhappiness is directed at me and by leaving me it goes away (so he thinks)

LSG - Thank you for stopping by. Your support and prayers are welcomed. I look forward to helping you too.

Now for yesterday's Update - I was cooking dinner but was saying "I'm in the mood for a hamburger" so H says, "so let's go get one." I ignore him and keep making dinner for kids (chicken fajitas) so he says, "let them finish that and let's just go." I reply, "I don't want to go if you're going to be making rude comments." He says, "I won't" so we go.

At the table after a beer in him H starts talking about us. How he is bothered that I told him a couple months ago that if we were done we couldn't be friends. I told him friends don't betray you. He was talking about his unhappiness within himself and us blah blah

He continued to talk about things and even brought up divorce on the way home. He has never mentioned D before. I guess time is near huh? He was on his BB last night and he quickly put it away when I came into the room. I told him he needs to leave and take his BB with him. My S15 was right there and he said, "yeah dad your phone is annoying." He used to have my name logged into his cell "my name Luv" he removed the Luv. I said, oh you took off the Luv huh? he replies, "cuz there is none." He has no reservations when it comes to lashing out at me.

I went to lie down in the room and he comes in and smacks my butt and grabs my boob (ok now I'm getting really offended) here. How disgusting is my emotionally abusive H? No one can stand what they are reading right now. A little later after going back into the livingroom I decided I'd had enough and I went to bed and he came into the room and said, "goodnight hun" and went to kiss me on the lips. Not once has he said that to me...in months much less kiss me on top of it. It wasn't done in a sarcastic manner but I felt horrible.

You guys...I let him drag me back into his web I went to bed crying and asking myself what am I doing and how I need to get away from this man who is causing me so much grief.

I was feeling a little better about myself and leaving and now I feel down again. I feel bad. I took 10 steps back!