first off is going to be the major amounts of guilt of putting a newborn in daycare since i will have no choice but to return back to work. my previous arrangement is not possible anymore.
obstacles 1. guilt/pain/not feeling like raising son & daughter while i work/in care of strangers/causing more resentment/hatred for h 2. cost of daycare for both of them 3. sleep deprived and having to go to work 4. no support from anyone 5. doing it all bymyself except when h wants to drive by/which i need to cut him off completely from me and kids
not waiting on husband benefits
this one gonna take me some time.
i'm getting upset.
Me 39 H 30 d 18 previous marriage d 2.5 with H s 4.5months with H Seperation Nov09 july i'm dim to dark - set internal deadline
Since my phone has not been working properly, my OB keeps calling so i have to have h schedule my follow up appt.
so he sends msg that he was going to come over mon after work. Did he, nope. he then sends msg, he's been thinking of how crappy he's been treating me and kids.
i have not responded.
he's supposed to watch kidos at my work so i can give my conferences wed, thur, and frid. i wish i didn't have to have him watch them, i just feel like cutting him out of our lives all together.
Me 39 H 30 d 18 previous marriage d 2.5 with H s 4.5months with H Seperation Nov09 july i'm dim to dark - set internal deadline
tells me today that he's off from work at 4:30 and we will see if he's coming over. did he? what do you think? NOPE!
i've been trying to balance both kidos and daily house tasks. it's hard most definetely. i can feel my resentment for h building with every time son is tired and crying for 15 mins, when i start dinner and have to stop, when d2.5 doesn't understand why i can't carry her and son at the same time.
my personal goals
1. first thing of day get daughter bathed me showered and son dressed 2. in a few weeks when son little bit older- 1 outing a day with both kids(ive done some to the store and walmart)
here is a decision i'm debating:
Should go ahead and file for divorce? i feel like if i keep putting it off it is like i'm just waiting around for h to wake up. honestly if he hasn't by now with both kids how in the world will he ever? if he did dealing with all the resentment, new resentment and anger i have for him?
Me 39 H 30 d 18 previous marriage d 2.5 with H s 4.5months with H Seperation Nov09 july i'm dim to dark - set internal deadline
obstacles 1. guilt/pain/not feeling like raising son & daughter while i work/in care of strangers/causing more resentment/hatred for h Just remember many many moms out there dont' have the option of staying at home to care for their babies due to finances. Long term studies show that daycare doesn't harm the kids
2. cost of daycare for both of them you will get child support from the divorce
3. sleep deprived and having to go to work no getting around it 4. no support from anyone versus the support you get NOW??? but your H will have custody from the courts... 5. doing it all bymyself except when h wants to drive by/which i need to cut him off completely from me and kids and this is different from the present in which way?
Quote:
not waiting on husband benefits
this one gonna take me some time.
i'm getting upset.
Jstar, please understand that all of us have our personal reasons for wanting to stay with our WAS so truthfully I cannot tell anyone they are wrong! Do you still love your H? Do you see any potential for being happily married one day? If so, then that is a different story. I just think from reading your thread that you already sound like a single mom. (((Jstar)))
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
