Holy Crap! Didn't expect THIS!

[Trixi]

Thanks Dom- I bet the stuff you suggest would work on a normal guy/man with cajones.

Yesterday we saw the Financial Guy (what he suggested would curl your hair-holy cow!) and somehow it came up that the fellow (now known as FG) knows some famous musicians.

Long story short, FG was talking about a party where the musicians will be that we should come to in August and H says "hey, maybe they could listen to one of my songs". So, he sends FG to youtube.com and has him search for the name of the song; too many things come up so H says "add the _blank_ tavern". Lo and behold, there's the video- that was created this PAST SATURDAY night. Bastard.

I didn’t say anything there, but when we got to the car I was PISSED. He said he “had thought about calling” and he was just “racked with guilt”. He was like “there I go again, excluding you.” At first he had all sorts of “reasons” but I stopped him dead in his tracks and said his reasons didn’t matter. It was wrong. And all he could do was agree. Until he started yelling at ME asking me what I was going to do about it? OMFG! OH! And he said “Once we live together, that sort of thing wouldn’t happen.” WTF?!

So, seems to me, the reason he was so quiet Sunday was because he KNEW he was hiding something major from me. In fact, I read him passages out of FG’s book where he talks about lying about money issues and that the lies damage relationships. (The passages were more about hiding and lying and the effect on relationships, with the focus being on money.)

Anyway, we went to dinner, and he was contrite, blah blah blah.
Go back to my place and the highlights are:

-He’s confused. (Good God! AGAIN?!)

-He says that he has messed up his life; he is not happy, etc.
-I said that when he STILL puts me off and is “confused” even though his life isn’t all that great, it makes me feel liked chopped liver because he is still choosing that life. He said “You’re not chopped liver” and I said “How would I know that?” and he was silent for a long time and finally said “why do you have to ask such hard questions?”

-He wants me to tell him that if we get back together it’s the “best thing” and everything will turn out good. I told him that was true but only if he participated.

-He doesn’t understand the “rush” for me to move back in (end of April)
-H “after all, we’ll have the rest of our lives together”
-Me “The rush would be that according to YOU, you won’t exclude me when we live together so I think I should move in this weekend based on that statement.”
-Me “what’s the hold up? What are you giving up by getting things moving sooner?” (no answer from him)

-I told him it was important to me that he wear his ring. He at first said “I have no problem with that” but when I said I wanted that to happen within the week he said “I’ll wear my ring when you move back in.” (!!!!!!!!!!) I said I was not comfortable with that, at ALL.

He’s supposed to come over tonight where we talk about details; when I would move in; how to deal with the financial things; etc. If we get those things “figured out” he’ll feel “more comfortable.” *I* want to know that we’re committed.

I will go ahead and go thru some of the details, etc, but he needs to grow the hell up. He has screwed up his life and refuses to make different choices.