As you say, there needs to be a balance here. And when you set your feet in concrete, you can't dance, (or play tennis). I generally, don't find your advice laden with hostility. But not everyone is as temperate and reasonable as you.
People in the midst of affairs, or even suspecting that their spouse is having an affair, are in an emotional state where their passions can easily be inflamed. This can lead to very bad results. It is important to keep in mind what we are dealing with and not encourage people to take actions that may be illegal or detrimental to their welfare in the long-run. We should moderate advice so that, at the very least, we do no harm. It is possible to bust the affair and at the same time destroy any hope of reconciliation. How is that a success?
That is why I feel it is necessary to remind people that this is a bulletin board, not a therapist's office. There are real Divorce Busting counselors, but you don't find them on the bulletin board, they do phone counseling at the number above.
