"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Been gone for a while trying to sort some things out. Sitch has taken a turn for the worse as W thinks she is in love with OM. She doesn't actually use the word love just says she needs him. That I'm ok with but the having him in my kids life is tuff. For some reason I can't accept the fact that I have no influence on my kid's life. I try and do everything possible to protect them and every possible chance she gets OM is hangin at her house. I wish I was completely ignorant of the facts and statistics of the damage this does to children. I wish I could ignore the fact that she doesn't care enough about them to wait. I wish I didn't know that this new relationship won't last and that this is one more loss my kids will have to endure.
On the divorce front things are getting ugly. W has lost total control of her L. He's sending hate mail to my L accusing her of all kinds of malfeasance. He wants this to go to trial. Says he's going to have me deposed, etc. My response is go for it. See ya in court. Maybe we can talk about the current situation with the OM and my kids. Maybe we can talk about me having 75% custody. How about Ms. Bart paying some child support. How about court supervised visitation. How about several instances of abuse on my 12 year old daughter. Do we need to look at the number of times she has failed to honor the agreement we have in place.
Yes. I know I'm angry. Don't mess with my kids.
_________________________ Me-41 W-39 M-15 yrs T-17 yrs D-12 S-9 S-8 B 5/08 S 1/09
On the divorce front things are getting ugly. W has lost total control of her L. He's sending hate mail to my L accusing her of all kinds of malfeasance. He wants this to go to trial. Says he's going to have me deposed, etc. My response is go for it. See ya in court. Maybe we can talk about the current situation with the OM and my kids. Maybe we can talk about me having 75% custody. How about Ms. Bart paying some child support. How about court supervised visitation. How about several instances of abuse on my 12 year old daughter. Do we need to look at the number of times she has failed to honor the agreement we have in place.
To quote a good friend here.....
While Lawyers KNOW the law, they ARE NOT the law...(nickel Trapt)
Stay your course and DOCUMENT EVERYTHING....
Every email, interaction, anything that may be pertain to your situation....
Ususally....Karma needs no help finding it's target....
When you get hit with a load of BS.....answer with a load of reality....
C-Bart, I know the "replacement" feeling. Just do your best to focus on the kids when you have them and be the better man. Do not give the OM any lip service unless you get some negative feedback from the kids.
I am doing a little better with the sitch so I know emotionally things will improve for you as well.
You can fill a notebook about her, and you answer about you with one sentence...
It would be really cool for that to be reversed....
At the moment THAT happens.....is when YOU recharge.
This quote was ringing in my head all weekend long. Like a big stick poking me in the side saying move on, move forward.
So I did. Busy weekend with the kids. Even mixed in some things for myself :-). Started the day off Saturday with a trip to my personal trainer at the gym. From there I took kids to the bank as I'm teaching them how to handle money. This was the first week they actually got a commission check so we went and cashed them. They loved that. Next stop was an open house for a new flight school. I've always wanted to learn how to fly. Went to the book store and didn't buy a self help or phys book. Came home and made dinner for the kids. Was going to play cards with a group of guys but decided to hang with the kids instead.
Went to church this morning and then out to lunch with kids (this has become a tradition). Hung around a bit after church to talk to a few people. This is hard for me to do, social situations make me very anxious. Glad I did. Looking at playing golf with some guys from church later in the week (I love the flexibility my job offers). Played hide and seek with S8 once we got home from lunch. Thought to self "these are the things that make life worth living".
Tonight was spend at Dave Ramsey's class. These classes are great but there is always a bit of resentment that W and I didn't take these together a couple of years ago. May have made a difference. I keep telling myself I probably wouldn't have been ready to learn the lessons back then. Now I'm all ears as Ross Perot used to say.
I realized late last week that the reason I was so upset about the OM last week is I'm scared that my kids will choose him over me. Crazy thought but when did emotion share rooms with logic? The fear quickly turned to anger with W and resulted in a couple of conversations that I now regret and have sense apologized for. Guess this is another one of those bumps in the road I'll have to get through. What helps is when my kids run and jump into to my arms every time they see me. I have nothing to be afraid of. I am their Dad and always will be a major influence in their lives. I may not physically be around them as much as I want but I will be present in their hearts and minds.
As we get ready to start a new week I feel strong, recharged and ready to take on whatever comes my way.
Thanks everyone.
Last edited by C-Bart; 03/29/1003:54 AM.
_________________________ Me-41 W-39 M-15 yrs T-17 yrs D-12 S-9 S-8 B 5/08 S 1/09
"these are the things that make life worth living".
Amen....Those are the things that make life worth it.
Quote:
I have nothing to be afraid of. I am their Dad and always will be a major influence in their lives. I may not physically be around them as much as I want but I will be present in their hearts and minds.
With self-realization comes the truth....just takes getting rid of the fear and anger.
C-bart-I really feel this is one of your best posts yet.
