thanks trapt, I sure am learning by trial & error "Learning doesn't happen from failure itself but rather from analyzing the failure, making a change, and then trying again."
Last edited by Mila; 03/16/1006:53 PM.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Wow Kimmie got an axe to grind. That approach would work if Mila wants an end to her marriage. I always think it's best to take the higher road. We all know your h is in the wrong, but does it make sense to do as he does or try for some understanding and forgiveness when the time is right.
Mila I would caution you on talking with ow's h. What benefit is that for you. Just puts you in the middle. Let it go and work on yourself instead.
Continue to put those goals in place and gal. Makes more sense than to chat with ow's h. I am sure he has a hidden agenda.
I am on vacay this week. So excited to get away and enjoy time off from work, kids and dog.
How's your spirit?
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
Hey glamgirl, Mila doesn't want to end her marriage I'm realizing now that by talking with OW's H and sharing any "family" information puts me smack right in the middle of it (range of fire?), nor a good place to be.
I'm DB'ng but OW's H is not, he is still in the "plead, threaten and negotiate" stage. I will distance when he calls again (I never call him, he calls me).
Have a great week off and lots of fun with the kidlets
PS: My spirit is still up and down, but I'm working on it
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
I'm realizing now that by talking with OW's H and sharing any "family" information puts me smack right in the middle of it (range of fire?), nor a good place to be.
That is a really good place to stand in....
Originally Posted By: Mila
I'm DB'ng but OW's H is not, he is still in the "plead, threaten and negotiate" stage. I will distance when he calls again (I never call him, he calls me).
Yea, those discussions usually don't end well...
You could commiserate together, all that will do is give YOU an excuse to stay stuck in the misery of "poor Mila"
You are DBing, and becoming a better person. As you do, you will see the difference when these things happen, of the Higher Road.
The difference in healing with love , and healing with bitterness.
These are all tools you can use for the future, whether or not it is with your husband....just in your next relationship.
Mila, just work on yourself and let the OW's H figure out how to handle things on his own. I was in the Middle before and really it just hurt me. If he calls again just tell him you understand how he feels since you are in the same sitch, but that you feel its best to not speak with him anymore. Or just not answer his calls at all.
Take care
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
