No, it was pointless, for me. Sometimes it is not what they say, it is how they say it. And sometimes the discussion alone, brings the couple closer. Last night we slept holding each other and this morning we kissed tenderly. And all that because I insisted we would talk while hugging in bed. And even when we got excited, we still touched, legs, arms, my head on his shoulder...
Anyway I said we had an interesting convo. I suggested we set a time aside and talk about what I need to be discussed. He agreed. He asked for an example, I told him it's how they broke up. How? In person, on the phone, with a "see you", or "f@ck you!"? He said he doenst remember... I couldnt believe that. Bottom line is he told me "after al the things you have told me I caused and how my actions made you feel, which I see, I feel like a remorseful murderer asked to describe his crime with details. I feel stressed, anxiety etc etc". I asked if he thinks he will ever be able to talk bout it freely. He said he doenst know. I asked if he thinks we need first to make US well before we go there, he said he is willing to try to set times to talk about it and see how it goes if I need that.
He told me his wish is that we could burry this whole thing. I told him it's "rotten" and it will bring US down as well, and he said no, if it is rotten the worms will eat it, it doenst have to bring us down...
I used this girl's email to talk about setting boundaries/walls between us and the world. I talked about triggers, memories, etc.
He denies the reality. He WANTS To believe things are "closed" and every time I bring up something he gets so upset. Not with me, by what has happened.
We talked again a few hours ago. I todl him I am sad when he asked cause I feel things are not crystal clear between us. He did try to reassure me but at some point I felt weak and told him I dont want to talk about it anymore, I need to first regroup. K
