Good news Zoo! ... and don't beat yourself up so much! If we knew what always worked for every curve life throws at us ... this would all be too easy!
Its trial and error, so it totally OK if it doesn't go well the first time, so long as you know not to repeat it for a second time.
Quote: He asked if we couldn't talk about this when he came home, that it wasn't something to talk about on the phone. He said he had been looking forward to a relaxing phone call...that he'd been on the go all day because of this crap and instead all I wanted to do was b^%ch.
What if ... the next time he delivers bad news like this ... you push it off for a later time when you're together. When he's giving you bad news, he won't come out and say it, but he's seeking for warm fuzzy thoughts himself. What if you came back with, "With news like this, I think we need to get under a blanket together when we talk about it."
If we knew what always worked for every curve life throws at us ... this would all be too easy! 
