Given the situation where the wife and the husband have grown apart over time and the wife has had an affair, but for whatever reason, she returns to the marriage. Harley's advice is:
Quote:
You must take this opportunity to prove to her that you can do something you haven't been doing for some time: Meet her most important emotional needs. First, you need to discover them. What was her friend doing that she found so irresistible? He probably talked to her, showed an interest in her, was respectful and encouraging, demonstrated his care by being there for her when she needed him. And maybe, most important, he didn't criticize her or try to straighten her out.
Call her, send her flowers, tell her how much you love her, how much you miss her. Don't smother her, but let her know in no uncertain terms that you value your relationship with her.
From What to Do with an Unfaithful Wife Letter #2 by Steven W. Harley
Nowhere in this advice does he say to assume she is lying when she says the affair is over. He says to be nice, try to meet her needs. Because the person she enjoys being with is the person she will want to be with.
