If the official advice from your source Harley in a case such as this, where the wife has come back is:
Quote:
You must take this opportunity to prove to her that you can do something you haven't been doing for some time: Meet her most important emotional needs. First, you need to discover them. What was her friend doing that she found so irresistible? He probably talked to her, showed an interest in her, was respectful and encouraging, demonstrated his care by being there for her when she needed him. And maybe, most important, he didn't criticize her or try to straighten her out.
Call her, send her flowers, tell her how much you love her, how much you miss her. Don't smother her, but let her know in no uncertain terms that you value your relationship with her.
From What to Do with an Unfaithful Wife Letter #2 by Steven W. Harley
How do you reconcile that with your advice:
Quote:
Telling her how you feel will just add to that stress, it won't heal or repair any damage.
You are not repeating Harley's advice. You are saying something completely different.
